Raising kids who might be trans, that is to say, every kid

Every child born might be trans, this is simply a statement of probability, I don’t mean a child who might be trans because they have X, Y, Z stereotyped behaviour, I mean a child who may be trans because as a human being, that is something that might be the case.

I’ve been thinking about the discussion around the story of storm, a child whose parents have, from what I understand declined to assign their child a gender until that child articulates their own. I liked when Arwyn said

and regardless of whether I think it’s a (or the) “right” or “best” way, I’m entirely pleased that they are at least trying.

Yes, that is about right, I probably wont have children, by many of my friends are having kids, have young kids or are planning to have kids, I thought, what would I recommend if one of them came and talked to me about how to handle the possibility that their kids could be trans, not because their kids had expressed anything like a trans identity, but just because trans people exist, and my friends are the kind of people who want to support their kids, who ever their kids turn out to be.

The intersex society of north america has recommendations.

Following diagnostic work-up, newborns with intersex should be given a gender assignment as boy or girl, depending on which of those genders the child is more likely to feel as she or he grows up.

This is pretty much what I would recommend for a non intersex child, talk to child in age appropriate ways, about how “their are some people who people think are boys but are really girls inside, and some people who aren’t girls or boys”.

This is in some ways a more conservative view than the parents of storm have choose, I would recommend to parents to go with the birth assignment of their child, to give that child a name and use pronouns associated with that child’s assigned sex.  Why this sudden conservationism? Well basically because other people are shit, look at the ways the media has treated this case, because I would want my friends children to avoid the shit that other peoples gender issues throws at them, and storms parents are doing that, and I salute them for it, I might do it differently but I wish them all the support in the world.

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