Vintage posts are a series of posts from my old Livejournal.
This post was written as part of a collection of blog posts supporting comprehensive sex education.
When I was 13 I started going to a local young peoples queer group. One week we did sex ed, I remember the women who ran the group commenting that queer guys where very well funded(yay)* and got big shiny color booklets. Where as she had photocopied the womens stuff herself out of the her own pocket. But what she photocopied was amazing, the booklet was to say the least comprehensive, it had mentioned every kink that I hadn’t dared imagine that any other women did, and some I didn’t even think of. I remember somewhere in the middle:
if you end up drawing blood from your bottom get her to lick up her own blood to minimize the risk of blood born diseases, Anyone who you participate in cutting or blood contact sex with should be tested as blood is a better transporter of HIV than other bodily fluids.
Simple straight forward without any ick factor, this is a thing that some people do, here is how to minimise risk. That was the first time I knew that there where people like me in the world, people who where not sociopaths, people who thought about disease risk and how to make there sexuality safe for all the people involved, the picture on the front of that booklet, a pieced and smiling leather top was burn into my brain. [if anyone recognises this and could point me to a copy, I would be grateful]
But that booklet did more than make me realize there where others out there, it talked about safe words, about not using stocking because they can stretch and cut off blood supply, it taught me how to have safer sex, when the sex that I wanted to have wasn’t the norm. I wish I still had that booklet and I wish they would put it in schools, I was lucky enough to be hanging around some old dyke’s at the time, women** who knew what it was to grow up different who wanted to make sure than it wasn’t just gay and lesbian sexuality that we where exposed to, women who if they where not personally kinked or trans made sure as hell we knew it was an option. But I knew I was queer, I found them; I would like to live in a world where all young people got the chances I got. There are plenty of straight kinksters who would never have come across anything like that booklet
*a big part of Australia’s reaction to HIV has been well targeted prevention to high risk groups, like queer men
**One of the dykes I.Ded as genderqueer/no-ho transmale but also still as a dyke. I’m so glad I meet hir when I did.